My last post was about the 1950s housewife cliche, but I still find it to be completely relevant with a very important message. We are forgetting how to interact with each other. We have become so self-absorbed that it has broken our innerconnectvity. We have become so focused that we have lost sight of the bigger picture. We must reclaim our humanity.
We don't need labels. We don't need dogma. We don't need racism, sexism, or any -ism. We absolutely will never achieve equality by making reparations or any other such nonsense. I think the human race as a whole has made it through its adolescence and we will always owe gratitude to those who showed us how to find ourselves. But now we need to step it up, think globally, and adjust the focus outward. Stop asking, "What do I get out of this?" and start asking "What can I put into it?"
Friday, April 29, 2011
Going back to our roots
The following is from a 1950′s home economics textbook intended for high school girls, teaching them how to prepare for married life (with my comments):
1. Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal — on time. (This is in no way subjugating women. I find it so much easier to plan dinners and the like in advance. This is not indicative of a submissive woman, but an ORGANIZED one.) This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him, and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed. (Common sense. If you are in a loving relationship and are truly partners, you should WANT to do this. That’s called being a good spouse.)
2. Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift. (Of course his boring day needs a lift. Work is tedious and an aware spouse would have the desire to look beautiful or handsome for their mate. It is very easy to fall into a complacent schedule of wearing pajamas all day since you work from or in the home. But I think that for some it can become a festering sore and can quickly lead into depression without anyone being aware that that is happening. When you feel like you look your best, your best work can more easily follow. So do yourself a favor and shower, get dressed, and greet the day like you would if you were working outside of the home. You will benefit from it, as will your husband and family.)
3. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too.(THIS IS CALLED AN ORGANIZED HOUSEHOLD AND IS MUCH MORE BENEFICIAL FOR THE SPOUSE THAT WORKS IN THE HOME. CHECK OUT flylady.net)
4. Prepare the children: Take a few minutes to wash the childrens’ hands and faces if they are small, comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.(Kids get dirty. That’s what they’re supposed to do. And its likely that neither you nor your spouse care. However in my life I have noticed that we get tired at the end of the day. So changing and preparing (more or less) young children before they become tired and cranky is common sense.)
5. Minimize the noise: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum. (I’m not so sure that this is of any importance. But you have to admit, being able to turn those things off and tune the needs out after a certain time every day, can be a major destresser.) Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. (Why would you not want to be happy to see your spouse. If you feel you are forced then you have much bigger problems. I am so thankful that my husband works outside of the homes enabling me to pursue other interests.) Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him.
6. Some Don’ts: Don’t greet him with problems or complaints. Don’t complain if he’s late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day.(Remember when your mom or dad came home from work and needed some unwind time? I know I was always told that it is common courtesy to let my parents sit down, put stuff away, and get into the “home” mindset.)
7. Make him comfortable: Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind. (DO YOU REALLY WANT YOUR SPOUSE TO BE UNCOMFORTABLE?!?! Perhaps sadism works for some marriages. But I think that if you are constantly trying to put your spouse down so you can be “better” than him, you are single-handedly destroying your marriage. You should both be pushing each other to be better every day.)
8. Listen to him: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.(I’M PRETTY CONFIDENT THAT THIS IS CALLED…..{DRUM ROLL PLEASE}……. COMMUNICATION!!!
9. Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment; instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.(Give and take. If you do nice, kind, thoughtful things for your spouse, more likely than not they will do the same for you.)
10. The goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can relax.(WHY WOULD YOU NOT WANT YOUR HOME TO BE ORGANIZED AND AN OASIS OF RELAXATION?!?!?! THIS ONLY BENEFITS THE BOTH OF YOU.)
*steps off soap box*
1. Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal — on time. (This is in no way subjugating women. I find it so much easier to plan dinners and the like in advance. This is not indicative of a submissive woman, but an ORGANIZED one.) This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him, and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed. (Common sense. If you are in a loving relationship and are truly partners, you should WANT to do this. That’s called being a good spouse.)
2. Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift. (Of course his boring day needs a lift. Work is tedious and an aware spouse would have the desire to look beautiful or handsome for their mate. It is very easy to fall into a complacent schedule of wearing pajamas all day since you work from or in the home. But I think that for some it can become a festering sore and can quickly lead into depression without anyone being aware that that is happening. When you feel like you look your best, your best work can more easily follow. So do yourself a favor and shower, get dressed, and greet the day like you would if you were working outside of the home. You will benefit from it, as will your husband and family.)
3. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too.(THIS IS CALLED AN ORGANIZED HOUSEHOLD AND IS MUCH MORE BENEFICIAL FOR THE SPOUSE THAT WORKS IN THE HOME. CHECK OUT flylady.net)
4. Prepare the children: Take a few minutes to wash the childrens’ hands and faces if they are small, comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.(Kids get dirty. That’s what they’re supposed to do. And its likely that neither you nor your spouse care. However in my life I have noticed that we get tired at the end of the day. So changing and preparing (more or less) young children before they become tired and cranky is common sense.)
5. Minimize the noise: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum. (I’m not so sure that this is of any importance. But you have to admit, being able to turn those things off and tune the needs out after a certain time every day, can be a major destresser.) Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. (Why would you not want to be happy to see your spouse. If you feel you are forced then you have much bigger problems. I am so thankful that my husband works outside of the homes enabling me to pursue other interests.) Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him.
6. Some Don’ts: Don’t greet him with problems or complaints. Don’t complain if he’s late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day.(Remember when your mom or dad came home from work and needed some unwind time? I know I was always told that it is common courtesy to let my parents sit down, put stuff away, and get into the “home” mindset.)
7. Make him comfortable: Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind. (DO YOU REALLY WANT YOUR SPOUSE TO BE UNCOMFORTABLE?!?! Perhaps sadism works for some marriages. But I think that if you are constantly trying to put your spouse down so you can be “better” than him, you are single-handedly destroying your marriage. You should both be pushing each other to be better every day.)
8. Listen to him: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.(I’M PRETTY CONFIDENT THAT THIS IS CALLED…..{DRUM ROLL PLEASE}……. COMMUNICATION!!!
9. Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment; instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.(Give and take. If you do nice, kind, thoughtful things for your spouse, more likely than not they will do the same for you.)
10. The goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can relax.(WHY WOULD YOU NOT WANT YOUR HOME TO BE ORGANIZED AND AN OASIS OF RELAXATION?!?!?! THIS ONLY BENEFITS THE BOTH OF YOU.)
*steps off soap box*
An Introduction......
Are you sitting down? Let me first make a confession—I am a jack of all trades, master of none. I’m fairly certain that my attention span, or lack thereof, is a force to be reckoned with. I am the proverbial sponge and I want to know everything. And while I’m not sure that any of these (*ahem*) skills will ever amount to anything, I have been assured by numerous friends that they will become priceless in the looming zombie apocalypse. Something to look forward to, I guess.
My ultimate life goal is to take over the world. It’s not that I think I could run things better—Wait, wait. Yes it is. My goldfish could run things better (if, that is, I had a goldfish). But I have decided to start small. I know that the internet is swamped with blogs. Everybody wants to be heard. Sometimes, if we’re lucky, those people have something worthwhile to say. So hopefully I will be able to find the one thing that makes you think I’m worth reading.
My ultimate life goal is to take over the world. It’s not that I think I could run things better—Wait, wait. Yes it is. My goldfish could run things better (if, that is, I had a goldfish). But I have decided to start small. I know that the internet is swamped with blogs. Everybody wants to be heard. Sometimes, if we’re lucky, those people have something worthwhile to say. So hopefully I will be able to find the one thing that makes you think I’m worth reading.
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